|
|
|
March 6th, 2008
05:51 pm
for any of you out there who've ever taken birth control, you'll enjoy this. it's one of the funnier things i've seen in awhile.
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/02/25/saturday-night-live-takes-on-drug-ads/?emc=eta1
|
September 17th, 2007
10:16 pm
It's true. My sweetie and I are moving in together.
Check it out, our new place! http://www.flickr.com/photos/caito/
|
December 19th, 2006
06:21 pm - My Personal Hell: a trip to the Saturn Dealership
This morning I drove my sleepy self all the way to Lynnwood to get my car fixed. As I walked into the dealership, I started to crave ham and cheese sandwiches and found myself curiously attracted to seasonal sweaters. Realized it was just the christmas merriment seeping off the christmas tree, lights, ornaments, wreaths, tinsel and "holiday" (christmas) music. I guess gentile is contagious.
CNN was playing in the waiting room, so I was able to watch the Headline Story of the current Miss America's drinking habit (she drinks sometimes). This aired maybe 12 times during my 2.5 hour stint at Lynnwood Saturn, so if anyone missed her teary-eyed press conference or Donald Trump's offer of a second chance, I could probably recite it word for word for you. Just an offer.
I did not know that Donald Trump owned the Miss America pageant. You learn something new every day I guess. On seeing Donald Trump standing next to Miss America: This is what it takes to be a powerful American male. $$$ This is what it takes to be a powerful American lady: blonde hair and tits. Oh, and "lady like behavior" (no drinking). But how else are we to stave off the terrible lonliness, isolation and meaninglessness involved in being nothing more than a walking pair of tits with a smile???
Dying to distract myself from the Miss America debaucle, I flipped through Lynwood Saturn's magazine selection. All either Sports Illustrated or Forbes and other money related magazines. Spent several minutes drawing horns on all the white men in suits. Read an enlightening article about how valuable gays are to the economy and, in light of how much money us gays tend to spend, how gay friendly major corporations are becoming, and what major players these corporations are in "the gay rights movement," including (and you can't make this shit up) a major defense company that manufactures gas masks, weapons, missiles, all for the pentagon. I'm not even sure what I can say that's more fucked up than that. So I guess I won't bother.
On my way out, I was given a pink carnation and invited to have a happy christmas.
The goyim are so funny this time of year. In between showings of Miss America's weepy confession of under-aged drinking, CNN aired this tragic story of some white suburban family who's GIGANTIC Frosty The Snowman balloon/yard ornament was sliced up by unruly teenagers. Close up shot of chubby 6 year old with tear streaked cheeks saying "It was awful. Poor Frosty." Yeah, I bet Jesus is looking down from heaven right now, mourning the loss of--wait wait, don't tell me...is he mourning the loss of any and all religious significance of his birthday? NO! He's mourning the loss of your $300 Frosty the Fucking Snowman.
That's it for me. Shabbat Shalom motherfuckers.
|
July 13th, 2006
12:33 pm
umm...i almost got into a bar fight last night with some grotsky little biotch who not only had the nerve to splash water at me and try to block the door so i couldn't get out of the bathroom, but who also called me "short-stuff". Short-stuff? SHORT-STUFF??? Yeah well, at least I'm not ugly with a huge ass and bad hair, so you can go shave your back now.
And ps, I may be small, but I could have taken the bitch down.
|
July 6th, 2006
09:41 pm - kittens and a job
As the subject heading would suggest, I got kittens and a job! After spending a weekend in berkeley, at the home of Celia, an old friend of my mother's, who has 6, count them 6, cats, all of which were mangy ass strays (one had half a tail and one eye, another was blind, one broke its hip and had to spend 3 months confined to a tiny little box so it could heal), I decided that I simply had to adopt kitties. So, saturday morning I came home bearing two 2-month old babies. They're really teeny and really cute. It's a boy and a girl (brother and sister from the same litter). The boy is mostly black, with white paws and a little white on his face and belly, and his name is Igby. The girl is grey and stripey and her name is Gretta. They're very active, but also very sweet. They have commandeered the green armchair in my living room, which, granted, is cozy and small, but I like to think that they just mystically gravitated towards the wooden painting of St. Francis (Catholic saint of nature and animals) that hangs just above the chair.
In other news, tonight I was offered a job for next year. AmeriCorps team leader for JustServe at the Fremont Public Association. http://www.fremontpublic.org/vols/vista_justserve.html Very exciting. I start on September 1st. Until then, I'll be continuing to work at Brighton, the elementary school that I've been working at all year. I'm working as a day camp counselor and I actually get paid to do things like go to the park, swim at the beach, go rollerskating, and color pictures of SpongeBob SquarePants. Can't argue with that.
I suppose that's it for the update. Hope all is well.
|
June 9th, 2006
02:46 pm - girlfriend?
 | You scored as Sydney. You are Sydney! You know that most people are too foolish to make the world a better place, so you're not looking for a better tomorrow -- you're looking for some new clothes and a little respect in the academic world. You can be self-important, so be sure to hug your girlfriend and thank her for putting up with you.
|
Which Dyke to Watch Out For Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com</table>
|
March 8th, 2006
03:55 pm
I like Catholicism only because of their saints. Saints are truly comforting in the same way as jars of salsa that come with an 800 number helpline printed on the back. You know, just in case one day you have a dire salsa question that needs to be answered, there's someone out there who's only job is to answer it. Same thing with Catholic saints. For instance, the Catholics have a saint of lost items. Isn't that great? In the last week, I have lost my pocket watch, my cell phones, and my wallet. All on separate days. And when I called the cell phone people, they couldn't have cared less. My distress over having no contact with any of the people in my life didn't really seem to register with the sprint lady. And when I called the bar to see if anyone had found a wallet, the lady on the phone didn't really want to hear about how happy I was that someone had found it. She kinda just wanted to get me off the phone so that she could get back to work. And at moments like that, I really wish that there was a person, somewhere, who's only job was to actually give a shit about my lost items. And that's where Catholic saints come in handy. Unless of course you're not Catholic, but Jewish instead, in which case weeks like this just go to show that it's always something.
|
January 12th, 2006
12:14 pm
andrea swally: this certainly does not beat seeing a man blow up a sheep like a balloon (!!!) but it's the best thing i saw yesterday.
Yesterday evening I made my way to west seattle for Fairmount Park's literacy night. The theme was "Heroes of the Past, Present, and Future". Earlier in the week, some of the kids had made these pages for a "Wall of Heroes". The blank page says "My Hero Is:" with space to write the name and draw a picture. The bottom of the page has lines on which to write "This person is my hero because:". This one, I found on the ground.
"My Hero Is: Jesus Christ"
[drawn picture of Jesus strung up on a cross, blood squirting out of his hands, complete with a frownie face]
"Jesus Christ is My Hero Because: He made a blind man see and a scabbbed mans skin nice." (reading this took a LOT of decoding, for Jesus apparently did not teach this kid to write nice)
I thought the Jesus with a frownie face was a nice touch. You can almost hear him whimpering..."my hands hurt." (was that too sacrilegious?)
|
December 20th, 2005
December 14th, 2005
07:47 pm - loveit
http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-sbriefs10.1dec10,1,6549001.story?coll=la-headlines-california
my sister says, "what else were they going to call themselves... can you even trademark "homosexual females who enjoy vehicles in the small-medium open top category" ??"
|
December 9th, 2005
01:47 pm
Apparently I have a voice of a small child. A few minutes ago a telemarketer called my house and after asking me if I had been outside today (to which I replied "not yet"), he asked, "Is your mommy home?"
|
November 28th, 2005
05:45 pm - reccomendations
Movie recommendation: Me and You and Everyone We Know
*seriously, if you see one movie this year, make it this one
Book recommendation: The Savage Girl, by Alex Shakar
*thank you Alice. I'm sill in the middle of it, but so far it's the best thing I've read in a long time.
|
November 3rd, 2005
10:11 pm
So, I thought that maybe by leaving Kalabama, I would leave behind the world of raging crazies. Apparently I was wrong. Whole new heights of crazy live here in Seattle. And by 'Seattle', I mean in my building, across the hall. [see yesterday's post]
So, yesterday evening I finally got ahold of the crazy lady from across the hall. Don't you hate it when you give somebody the benefit of the doubt for two whole days only to later find that the immediate and slightly irrational conclusions you forced yourself not to jump to were right on? That's two days that I could have spent hating you, but instead were filled with inner calm and moral superiority. I'm telling you, even the god damned Dalai Lama would want to bitch slap this lady if he met her.
So fuck you crazy lady across the hall. Fuck you and your Hot Topic immitation leather catwoman wardrobe.
|
November 2nd, 2005
07:33 am - this week, in "I Live in a Fucking Looney Bin"
Lloyd and Buda, you two will appreciate this for having already experienced the psychosis that runs through puja's and my apartment building. (i.e. "We can hear EVERYTHING you do!")
This morning, 7:00am, I, like any other normal part of the working world, get up and hop in the shower. Like in any building, when more than one person showers at the same time, sometimes the water pressure and temperature can get less than ideal.
Now the normal, healthy, a functioning member of society response to a sporatically cold shower in the morning? Is it:
a) cursing a little and being annoyed
b) speeding up your shower and being grumpy for the next 5 minutes
c) sucking it up and dealing with it
d) stepping out of the shower, walking across the hall, and POUNDING with both fists at the neighbor's door, LAYING on the buzzer, and YELLING into the door
If you picked a-c, you're probably not crazy. If you picked d, then you're my neighbor across the hall.
|
October 14th, 2005
07:40 am
I don't know what's up with me lately. I find myself *finally* surrounded by hippies and liberals and granola and vegetarians and people who work for social justice and most of the time, I love it and am totally grateful. But lately, every now and again, I'll have these internal outbursts of total frustration and annoyance by it all and I just want to force feed hippies cigarettes and nutrasweet and food with faces. Is that crazy?
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/curious.gif) confused
|
October 12th, 2005
September 3rd, 2005
07:45 pm
***although some of you may be sick of hearing about hurricane katrina, i'm not and i thought this article was pretty smart. so read it if you like.***
A Flood of Bad Policies
By Molly Ivins, AlterNet
Posted on September 2, 2005, Printed on September 2, 2005
http://www.alternet.org/story/24923/
Like many of you who love New Orleans, I find myself taking short
mental walks there today, turning a familiar corner, glimpsing a favorite
scene, square or vista. And worrying about the beloved friends and the city,
and how they are now.
To use a fine Southern word, it's tacky to start playing the blame
game before the dead are even counted. It is not too soon, however, to make
a point that needs to be hammered home again and again, and that is that
government policies have real consequences in people's lives. This is not
"just politics" or blaming for political advantage. This is about the real
consequences of what governments do and do not do about their
responsibilities. And about who winds up paying the price for those
policies.
This is a column for everyone in the path of Hurricane Katrina who
ever said, "I'm sorry, I'm just not interested in politics," or, "There's
nothing I can do about it," or, "Eh, they're all crooks anyway." Nothing to
do with me, nothing to do with my life, nothing I can do about any of it.
Look around you this morning. I suppose the NRA would argue, "Government
policies don't kill people, hurricanes kill people."
Actually, hurricanes plus government policies kill people. One of the
main reasons New Orleans is so vulnerable to hurricanes is the gradual
disappearance of the wetlands on the Gulf Coast that once stood as a natural
buffer between the city and storms coming in from the water. The
disappearance of those wetlands does not have the name of a political party
or a particular administration attached to it. No one wants to play, "The
Democrats did it," or, "It's all Reagan's fault."
Many environmentalists will tell you more than a century's
interference with the natural flow of the Mississippi is the root cause of
the problem, cutting off the movement of alluvial soil to the river's great
delta. But in addition to long-range consequences of long-term policies like
letting the Corps of Engineers try to build a better river than God, there
are real short-term consequences, as well.
It is a fact that the Clinton administration set some tough policies
on wetlands, and it is a fact that the Bush administration repealed those
policies -- ordering federal agencies to stop protecting as many as 20
million acres of wetlands. Last year, four environmental groups cooperated
on a joint report showing the Bush administration's policies had allowed
developers to drain thousands of acres of wetlands.
Does this mean we should blame Bush for the fact that New Orleans is
underwater? No, but it means we can blame Bush when a Class 3 or Class 2
hurricane puts New Orleans underwater.
At this point, it is a matter of making a bad situation worse, of
failing to observe the First Rule of Holes (when you're in one, stop
digging). Had a storm the size of Katrina just had the grace to hold off for
a while, it's quite likely no one would even remember what the Bush
administration did two months ago.
The national press corps has the attention span of a gnat, and trying
to get anyone in Washington to remember longer than a year ago is like
asking them what happened in Iznik, Turkey, in A.D. 325. Just plain
political bad luck that, in June, Bush took his little ax and chopped $71.2
million from the budget of the New Orleans Corps of Engineers, a 44 percent
reduction.
As was reported in New Orleans CityBusiness at the time, that meant
"major hurricane and flood projects will not be awarded to local engineering
firms. Also, a study to determine ways to protect the region from a Category
5 hurricane has been shelved for now."
The commander of the Corps' New Orleans district also immediately
instituted a hiring freeze and cancelled the annual Corps picnic. Our
friends at the Center for American Progress note the Office of Technology
Assessment used to produce forward-thinking plans such as "Floods: A
National Policy Concern" and "A Framework for Flood Hazards Management."
Unfortunately, the office was targeted by Newt Gingrich and the Republican
right, and gutted years ago.
In fact, there is now a government-wide movement away from basing
policy on science, expertise and professionalism, and in favor of choices
based on ideology. If you're wondering what the ideological position on
flood management might be, look at the pictures of New Orleans -- it seems
to consist of gutting the programs that do anything.
Unfortunately, the war in Iraq is directly related to the devastation
left by the hurricane. About 35 percent of Louisiana's National Guard is now
serving in Iraq, where four out of every 10 soldiers are guardsmen.
Recruiting for the Guard is also down significantly because people are
afraid of being sent to Iraq if they join, leaving the Guard even more
short-handed.
The Louisiana National Guard also notes that dozens of its high-water
vehicles, humvees, refuelers and generators have also been sent abroad. (I
hate to be picky, but why do they need high-water vehicles in Iraq?) This,
in turn, goes back to the original policy decision to go into Iraq without
enough soldiers and the subsequent failure to admit that mistake and to
rectify it by instituting a draft.
The levees of New Orleans, two of which are now broken and flooding
the city, were also victims of Iraq war spending. Walter Maestri, emergency
management chief for Jefferson Parish, said on June 8, 2004, "It appears
that the money has been moved in the president's budget to handle homeland
security and the war in Iraq."
This, friends, is why we need to pay attention to government policies,
not political personalities, and to know whereon we vote. It is about our
lives.
Molly Ivins writes about politics, Texas and other bizarre happenings.
|
01:00 pm - my two cents
To radical liberals drinking wine and "theorizing" about Katrina as God's punishment for the US attacking Iraq: that is the stupidest fucking thing i have ever heard.
|
September 1st, 2005
07:35 pm
So, this morning while sitting in the waiting room at the Ballard Social Services Office, I overheard the most bizarre conversation. As I'm waiting, in walks this couple, a real skinny older lady wearing purple stretch pants and a younger (probably early 40s) and much larger man, wearing some ratty ass black t-shirt, but with perfectly manicured turquoise nails, They both had subtle soft southern accents, and the man had a slight lisp (just to set the scene here). They were sitting behind me, so i can't be totally sure how the subject of aquariums came up, but regardless, it did.
Man: You know, Jermaine had himself two aquariums sitting in the back of his truck. I wonder what he's gonna do with them.
Lady: Well call him up and ask!
Man: [while smiling and dialing] You know what, I think I will. [to the lady] What do you need aquariums for though?
Lady: 'Cause it's somethin' to put the frogs in! ((and now this is when the conversation went from only slightly out of the ordinary to dumbfoundingly bizarre)) And so that way, when we put on the Blues Brothers records, they can all dance for us!
what????? "It's something to put the frogs in... And so that way, when we put on the Blues Brothers records, they can all dance for us!" What. Does. That. MEAN??? This is one of those sentences that hits your ear, makes its way to your brain, and then just camps out there for YEARS TO COME. All day long, all I'm thinking is "And so that way, when we put on the Blues Brothers records, they can all dance for us!" over and over and over again. Where are the frogs now, if not in an aquarium of their own? Do they dance to anything other than the Blues Brothers? And why does getting them an aquarium necessarily lead to blues brothers dancing?
Current Mood: confused
|
August 30th, 2005
09:41 pm
As a little kid, I had trouble pronouncing the S sound, so instead of trying, I tended to just drop the s's off of words. 'Sky' became 'ky', 'spider' became only 'pider'. My mom loves to relay the story of my first day at preschool. She dropped me off in the morning, then later that afternoon, she came to pick me up. When I got into the car, she asked, "So how was your first day at school, sweetie?" To which, I replied, "Cary. Very cary".
Well, today was my first day at work. I'll be spending mondays through thursdays at Brighton Elementary School, here in Seattle. Working in a school makes me feel both really really old and really really young at the same time. Going to staff meetings all day definitely serves as a reminder that I am NO LONGER A STUDENT. But at the same time, addressing the principle of my school as "Mrs. Raines" makes me feel like a small child asking permission to use the bathroom.
It's been awhile since my last real update, so here's all that's new. I got into seattle on the 17th after 4 days of driving. I am currently staying with this woman, Martha, who's a friend of my mom's friend, Jodi. I may be able to actually move into my new place tomorrow though, which would be fucking sweet. After bumming around Seattle for a few days, I left with the rest of the Americorps VISTA volunteers/supervisors for our Pre-Service Orientation (PSO) in Ellensburg, WA. My group seems really great (there's 7 of us total; 5 girls, 2 boys) and my supervisor is awesome. She kinda reminds me of Margaret Cho. During dinner one night, she goes off about how she's opposed to pornography, not just because it's oppressive to women, but mostly because it gives men really bad sex advice. "Trust me," she says. "It's obvious when you're having sex with a guy who's watched porn. It's like, ew! What're you trying to do to me? That's not good. Who on earth told you that was a good idea?" PSO training was like summer camp for do-gooders. The people running the show would get up in front of the group and say things like, "I wanna treat you all like adults here. Now, split up into small groups and write out a skit about cultural awareness. Afterwards, you'll get to perform your skit. Make sure you include everyone!" BARF. But I did get to meet and hang out with the rest of my team, and for the most part, I really like everyone (a startling change from my standard experience). In other news, Puja is leaving kzoo at the end of the week to come out here, and I'm jumping out of my skin I'm so excited.
Today, like I said, I actually started working. I'm excited for this job and I really want to do it well, but I feel hopelessly unqualified and I have no idea what I'm doing and I keep thinking back to my application and resume and interview and thinking that I must have misrepresented myself, because why on earth would anyone trust me with this job? I am excited though, and I'm feeling ready to not be good at something from the onset. How else do you go about learning new things? But I won't lie. These first few days, as good as they have been, have also been...well... cary, very cary.
more later...
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
caito419's journal
![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif){kind=small}
laughing